Some jokes for the day!

TEACHER : Why are you late?
WEBSTER : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
WEBSTER : The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'


TEACHER : Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY : You told me to do it without using tables!


TEACHER : John, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
JOHN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER : No, that's wrong.
JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!


TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O!


TEACHER : George, go to the map and find North America .
GEORGE : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : George!


TEACHER : Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLIE : Me!


TEACHER : Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.


TEACHER : Ellen, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER : No, Ellen..... Always say, 'I am.'
ELLEN : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


TEACHER : 'Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?'
JOHNNY : 'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.'


TEACHER : 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
JOHNNY : 'Because George still had the ax in his hand.'


TEACHER : Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.


TEACHER : Desmond, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND : No, teacher, it's the same dog!


TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PUPIL : A teacher.

Profile